biggerstick | (no subject)

(no subject)

[What does an insomniac superhero do at night? They wander off the pool house and build their own working area in the underground labs]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'd like to avoid it getting to that stage.

How's exhaustion working so far?

It's going great. I get a few hours every couple of days, it's not any worse than Afghanistan.

... I'm going to make a suggestion and if you decline or it doesn't work, I'm not going to bring it up again.

...

Fine. Go for it.

We're going to dim the lights, put on some music, and we're going to wrap you in blankets and I'm going to talk to you until you fall asleep or kick me out.

...

...

If I agree to this frankly ridiculous idea and it doesn't work, you'll cut it out. Permanently.

Agreed.

JARVIS, some classical music, if you please.

I haven't said yes.

[but JARVIS starts playing classical music]

... traitor.

You can have a marital dispute later.

[getting up to find a mattress and a pillow and a blanket so he can lay it out and beckon Tony over. It's almost sinister in all normal it is]

[... god. lying down on the couch]

For the record, I am slightly disturbed by this.

So am I.

[bringing the blanket over and covering Tony with it and also handing him the pillow]

Get comfortable.

[kicks off his shoes and closes his eyes]

... seriously Coulson, this is weird.

[settling down on the mattress on the floor next to him]

Think of Malibu. Your nice king-sized poster bed.

[eyes closed, but replying because he can't help himself]

How do you know what my bed looks like?

Ask JARVIS later. It's nice and soft and comfortable, just like you specifically ordered it to be. You're lying on it. Breathing easily. In and out...

[JARVIS dims the lights because JARVIS is a good AI. Tony seems really tense, although he is making an effort to relax and follow Coulson's instructions]

[well he's going out on a limb here]

Sleep seems elusive but you hear someone coming in. A familiar person. Pepper. She's getting in bed next to you.

[quiet]

Don't go there, Coulson.

[without missing a beat] It's actually Dummy dropping a fire extinguisher on the bed.

[snorts]

Dummy has no access to the bedroom.

I can come up with worse.

Now cuddle up with the fire extinguisher.

[opens his eyes and looks at Coulson]

Listen, I'm not trying to be stubborn here but this isn't working.

I picked the wrong routes.

One last try. I won't talk this time.

[closes his eyes again and sighs, resigned]

I've tried this on my own.

I know. I'm going to touch you. Don't jump.

[he's... man idek stroking his hair a bit 8| THIS IS WEIRD]