biggerstick | (no subject)

Of course, Agent Coulson. Any preferences?

[Meanwhile Tony looks annoyed]

I'm sorry, did you miss the part where I kicked you out?

Play Tony's favorites.

[well, you get AC/DC and The Clash]

... why am I suddenly Tony? That can't be good.

You think too much. Carry on with what you're doing.

I can't, you're messing with my Feng Shui.

JARVIS will make up for it.

That's not how Feng Shui works. What do you want from me?

I'm concerned.

[BUT WHY]

Jesus. Fine, look I'm sleeping when I'm tired, and yeah okay, the food thing is a problem but it's not like I'm doing it on purpose. I just forget.

I'll have JARVIS set up reminders.

You're pushing the limit of exhaustion.

Look. Will you try sleeping if someone you trust is here?

It's not about company. I just can't sleep, very literally can't sleep.

Look, I'm sure you'll stage an intervention if I actually become unable to function, but for the time being I think I'm doing alright.

I'd like to avoid it getting to that stage.

How's exhaustion working so far?

It's going great. I get a few hours every couple of days, it's not any worse than Afghanistan.

... I'm going to make a suggestion and if you decline or it doesn't work, I'm not going to bring it up again.

...

Fine. Go for it.

We're going to dim the lights, put on some music, and we're going to wrap you in blankets and I'm going to talk to you until you fall asleep or kick me out.

...

...

If I agree to this frankly ridiculous idea and it doesn't work, you'll cut it out. Permanently.

Agreed.

JARVIS, some classical music, if you please.

I haven't said yes.

[but JARVIS starts playing classical music]

... traitor.

You can have a marital dispute later.

[getting up to find a mattress and a pillow and a blanket so he can lay it out and beckon Tony over. It's almost sinister in all normal it is]

[... god. lying down on the couch]

For the record, I am slightly disturbed by this.

So am I.

[bringing the blanket over and covering Tony with it and also handing him the pillow]

Get comfortable.

[kicks off his shoes and closes his eyes]

... seriously Coulson, this is weird.

[settling down on the mattress on the floor next to him]

Think of Malibu. Your nice king-sized poster bed.

[eyes closed, but replying because he can't help himself]

How do you know what my bed looks like?